dr john gray wife, bonnie
But if you go back thirty years ago, it was very challenging for women to get the respect they deserved in the workplace. His point in this book is that we dont know what we need to know because our parents didnt tell us and they didnt tell us because we are living a life that would have mystified them entirely. Social and economic shifts have caused the sexes to no longer be dependent on each other. Its not like I have all this thought out (He asked what she thought they should spend the money on). Crazy. And how can you say it is written for women when, in fact, it tells men how to get the kinds of outcomes they want? CLICK HERE FOR DISCOUNT PURCHASE, When you get angry, what is happening hormonally in your body? Cancer and the New Biology of Water with Dr. Thomas Cowan | Part 2. Therapy, in many cases, has gone down the wrong road. During graduate school, John served as the Assistant Dean of Men at Bob Jones University for five years. It could look adversarial to a bystander, I said. People kept saying, You have to write this in a book. Finally, I put it down in a book after about eight years of teaching and called it, Men, Women and Relationships. John Gray: No. (LogOut/ You're not trying to control her; you're providing her with the support she needs. Dr. John Gray, When a woman is on her masculine side after working her job all day, she doesn't feel those negative emotions and they're all kept inside. You know, the other day with this happened, I had a lot of feelings come up. This approach asks his patience as a favor to her and promises that the barrage will be as brief as can be, still allowing time for the feelings to be expressed. Everyone has the power to create fulfilling, passionate, dynamic relationships if they're willing to show up and do the inner work. I think his historical grounding for those roles is preposterous. So the greater the stress in our lives, the more the differences [between men and women] will tend to show up. Why a man's testosterone goes down and estrogen goes up when they feel stuck. Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. On the other hand a womans heart opens when she is successful in getting the love support she needs. He says he is ducking and dodging, continuing to hold back and not retaliate, but he is aware that he can take only so much more. Learning how to deal with stress is the key to heart health. His many books, blogs and free online workshops at MarsVenus.com provide practical insights to improve relationships at all stages of life and love. Here at MarsVenus.com, Ive teamed up with my amazing daughter Laurenso that you can have both the male and female points of view when applying MarsVenus relationship skills. For men their hearts open when they are successful in helping others. For the past 25 years, John has worked in manufacturing and facility maintenance, and he is now a facilities manager overseeing over 2.8 million square feet. She had Well, for lots of reasons. I MUCH prefer the earlier title of this book: His point in this book is that we dont know what we need to know because our parents didnt tell us and they didnt tell us because we are living a life that would have mystified them entirely. And when did you first conduct the research for this book? I really appreciate you trying to listen. He was also the subject of a three hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. Then Gray married his second wife, Bonnie, in 1986 and she died of cancer in 2018. If a woman is stressed, holding space for her means hearing what she has to Join HealCirclesto get free trusted support for greater health! I think his characterizations of male and female roles are stereotyped and rigid. Read More On The Sun John Gray is the founder of the now vast Mars/Venus industries: books, seminars, websites, and so on. His wife said that he had been feeling a little different over the past couple weeks before he went to the ER on Thursday, July 7, 2022 - where he was quickly admitted to the critical care unit. This website is not intended to create a physician-patient relationship between you and HealCircle or its practitioners. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. . I disagree with nearly everything in them, with one exception. Everybody kept saying, Why? What couples need is a greater understanding of where their partner is coming from. PR.com (Allison Kugel): Your new book, Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice, describes 100% the issues that I was having in my own relationship, and it has helped us quite a bit. If a guy feels guilty for taking time away, or if he just doesnt take time away, then gradually his testosterone levels get lower and lower and his interest in the relationship becomes less and less. Optimieren Sie Ihren Workflow mit unserem erstklassigen Digitalen Asset Management System. How to share the right way: It was men hanging out. Estrogen is a very dominant female hormone, but if estrogen levels are out of balance and there is not enough estrogen, then the oxytocin is not as effective in lowering stress for women, so there is a relationship there. This approach asks his patience as a favor to her and promises that the barrage will be as brief as can be, still allowing time for the feelings to be expressed. It could look adversarial to a bystander, I said. Men need to do something that makes them feel successful. How a man can be there for his partner and create a safe space by being cool, calm, and collected. When you do that, she can share her emotions in a more positive way. Bei kommerzieller Verwendung sowie fr verkaufsfrdernde Zwecke kontaktieren Sie bitte Ihr. Womens support groups, as an example, are a great thing to have. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. Nobody has done that study yet, but Ive done it in my own anecdotal research. Dr. Grays books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. When I went to Harper Collins and published Men Are From Mars they said, Why dont you [now] write primarily for women because mostly women buy these books. I said, No. A main effect is that they often divorce you. He is an avid follower of his own PR.com: Do you think the notion of a woman being a guys girl, or a man being a girls guy, do you think that is a myth? John ducks and dodges while she unloads her feelings, then initiates reconciliation when the time is right. (He asked her what she wanted to buy.) John: Well, for lots of reasons. 046 Dr. John Gray: ADHD, Brain Health, & Sex Addiction, Solocast | A Victim of Intellectualization & The Wisdom of The Heart, Solocast | The Sedation of Society: How To Reconnect & Strengthen Your Souls Connection, How to Get Everything You Want in Relationships, Paleovalley Save 15% on your ACV Complex with the code JOSH', Seeking Health Save 10% with the code JOSH', Organifi Special 20% off to our listeners with the code WELLNESSFORCE', Drink LMNT Zero Sugar Hydration: Get your free LMNT Sample Pack, you only cover the cost of shipping, Botanic Tonics Save 40% when you use the code WELLNESS40, Essential Oil Wizardry: Save 10% with the code WELLNESSFORCE', Cured Nutrition Get 15% off of your order when you visit wellnessforce.com/cured + use the code WELLNESSFORCE'. PR.com: I particularly love the two page cartoon in the center of this book. It brings up those issues. Most guys would take charge and say, This is what we need to do. But there has to be some time for her to vent. John Gray: Back in the early eighties is when I first started developing the ideas of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Why do you need to buy a new computer (she demanded)? What men can do to rebuild their testosterone levels including some alone time. Its just a feeling. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. PR.com: Yes, that is true. For more information on Dr. John Gray, visit www.marsvenus.com. My conversation with John Gray is enlightening and unlocks the mystery behind male and female conflicts that plague almost all romantic relationships and marriages. John Gray: Yeah, all of my friends love to go on walks with me (laughs). Preparing comes next. I just need to talk for a while and feel that you care.. Yes, we clearly got a couple of good ones, and I know you were being self-congratulatory in a jokey way, but we are with Kathie and Bette out of choice, not providence. And why are levels of infertility skyrocketing in women, while sexual virility is now rapidly declining in men as they reach middle age? Here at MarsVenus.com, Ive teamed up with. My friend is engaged to this woman and theyre having some difficulties. PR.com: This may be an offensive question for some people, but do you think that the womens movement over the past few decades has actually hindered male/female relationships and caused the divorce rate to rise? "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" author John Gray with his wife, Bonnie, at their Hill Top Ranch on the Mendocino Coast celebrating their 27th wedding anniversary. John Gray/company John and Bonnie Gray are no ordinary couple. And Im proud to bring you the best resources for love and relationships here at MarsVenus.com. New York publishers then wanted to re-publish it so it could go national. I mean, its great that women know theyre from Venus, but a vast majority of less enlightened men will never know theyre from Mars. Suddenly, our lives have become so fast that now women are seeking ways to cope with stress, and some are doing it more effectively than others. When they do something they are good at their hormones go up, which is great! What if the source of the problem is not treatable? . On a certain level, when a guy stops having sex or when he doesnt want sex, he doesnt want it, so he doesnt miss it. Why porn will raise a man's testosterone but then lower it dramatically as their estrogen levels increase which isn't healthy for them. (Photo by Acey Harper/Getty Images) PURCHASE A LICENSE. Bonnie: "There Is Life After Breast Cancer" | Book of John John Gray lives in Northern California, where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. Its not like youre going to just lock yourself up in a room and get away. I guess my answer to this is we would not be together, and we are very happily married and we are very happy together, if we didnt have this knowledge. A collaboration between Wellness Force and Essential Oil Wizardry to provide inspiration for you click here. Not rope-a-dope, but a very clear inversion of MY priorities. He has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show, TODAY, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, and others. If people arent reminded of how they continually create the problems that they experience in life, then they feel victimized, and of course the love stops flowing and they want to end the relationship. Through videos, blog posts, online courses, books, and groundbreaking live events, youll learn down-to-earth practical insight and wisdom that will change your life forever. Do you think loss of passion in relationships is mainly physiological and hormonal, or is it emotional and anger-related? If a woman is stressed, holding space for her means hearing what she has to say and providing a particular kind of loving support. Vergrern Sie die Reichweite Ihrer Marke authentisch und teilen Sie Markeninhalte mit Kreativen im Internet. Its like when we were talking about womens circles and women in the garden or women in the community doing what they do. It all comes back down to the hormones of passion. We dont seem to be able to enjoy that same female camaraderie that women did decades ago, like at the turn of the twentieth century. When you look historically at what the feminist movement really was, its like a massive cultural shift that has never occurred in a big civilization before. The genie in a bottle method: A couple takes 10 minutes to allow the feminine partner to share little things the other can do for them like get a cup of tea or help answer phone calls. Ive dated dramatic and overly emotional women and its just not for me. I really want to understand your feelings and it really is hard for me. (He says he didnt like being questioned, but by saying as little as this, he was able to prevent clashing with her). Dr. John Gray 1:20:46 Thank you. The truth is [a womans] brain is eight times more active under stress than a mans, in the emotional part of the brain. Estrogen is also a key thing for women. Bonnie needs to say how she feels and it isnt going to be pretty. I think his historical grounding for those roles is preposterous. These are role mate relationships where people play out their roles in order to create harmony. During this interview, he offers some advice to those dealing with The only real answeror maybe its just the best oneis to find someone you naturally relate to. But what I didnt know is, hormonally, men and women are actually wired to think and behave in different ways. What I have to say doesnt matter at all.. Im still amazed at the relevance that Men Are from Mars still has, 25 years after it was published! I have a recent example of that one. The importance of doing a lot of little things for your female partner to help build their estrogen back up. John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. We have been waiting six months to redo our floor. The woman I was married to at the timeprobably Marilynwas still engaged in the late part. John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. If your stress level increases it can create a tear leading to heart attack. The problem is that she has feelings that prevent her from having a fact-based conversation about the computer and other household needs. so that you can have both the male and female points of view when applying MarsVenus relationship skills. Gray married self-help author Barbara De Angelis and they divorced in 1984, after which he re-evaluated his ideas about relationships. Tap into Getty Images' global scale, data-driven insights, and network of more than 340,000 creators to create content exclusively for your brand. We are naturally drawn to situations that help us cope with stress. So Bonnie need not respond by saying Youre not listening or You just dont understand., She can say, Let me try saying that in a different way.. You did it again! I helped him see her point of view, and I helped him see how he created the mess. Im here to help men and women create strong, passionate bonds that last a lifetime. Key insight into how men and women can be heart health? Ill just nod and not say anything to be dismissive of the whole thing. For men, your estrogen levels are going up and your testosterone levels are going down. I want to poke just a little today at the way John and Bonnie Gray illustrate what communication between a husband and a wife ought to look like. Note the singular and plural problems in that sentence so I can ask you about them when we remember. First let me say that the Notify me checkboxes do appear, but only when youve indicated youre going to leave a comment. Thats a reality that has happened to all of us. We dont have to change our partners much. You are going to buy what you want and thats it. So thats how this round ends with a woman like Bonnie. Poor me is addictive, and releases the wrong hormones. And one will tend to be repelled from the women that are becoming like men. For your testosterone level to stay that high, you have to feel confident that you are loved. In that sense, there is symmetry to their roles. As I grew older, I had a wonderful relationship with my parents and in the early 1980s, I married my wife, Bonnie, and we went on our honeymoon. The solution is that John ducks and dodges long enough (he was getting close to the edge there at the end) that Bonnie gets the feelings out; she appreciates his listening to her; the emotional relationship is restored; and, eventually, the household purchases will be decided upon. PR.com: In this book you state that each of us is responsible for 90% of our own happiness, and only 10% should come from a significant other. John Gray: Yes, he did (laughs). But if you feel like its thirty steps and you still dont know if you are ever going to get there, you just get tired. They dont expect their husband to do it all. I hadnt ever seen that and its perfect. I want to go unwind and watch a movie. I had him go into a room and shut the door. When women are under stress their brains tend to speed up, and mens tend to slow down. I re-wrote it and used the original title that I wanted to begin with, which was Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Why women experience automatic negative thoughts when they are in their masculine rather than feminine self. 2023 Getty Images. They have three grown daughters and Guys who like to hang out with girls and have lots of girl friends, typically there are two categories. John Gray: To someone else, yeah. It gives John a chance to remember that hes supposed to be listening to her feelings, not solving her problems. WebAuthor John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. Within a few years men were buying as many [copies] as women, once word caught on that this book is very supportive of men as well as women. Bio, age, children, job, net worth. Whenever you want something, you just go out and get it. If that fails, pull out the rope-a-dope, which is what he does. Our community includes doctors, healers and integrative practitioners dedicated to helping you heal naturally. I think thats a great human trait, dont you? I have no issue with that aspect of feminism. Release the past, reconnect, and rediscover play. A side effect is that they stop being women. (This latter means, of course, that they stop being women in the way Gray thinks they ought to be.). Bundle & save on the BREATHE Essentials pack For more on #BookOfJohnGray, visit http://bit.ly/23tPWQBFind OWN on TV at http://www.oprah.com/FindOWN#OWNTV #BookOfJohnGray #JohnGraySUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/1vqD1PNDownload the Watch OWN App: http://bit.ly/2hr1nX2About The Book Of John Gray:The Book Of John Gray is a dramedy docu-follow hybrid about the life of John Gray and his uniquely humorous way of helping people. John Gray: Its blowing everybody away. 2023 Getty Images. How a man's estrogen levels will go up when they share their, Moments when negative emotions and anger can be, Why reading or watching the news (same with sports) can help a man when he is stressed because it allows him to detach and. They have been happily married for over 30 years and have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. Whats wrong with the computer you already have? Theres the guy who just likes girls and also has male friends. Ideally, what relationships are built upon is a sense of fulfillment within yourself, and here is someone who I can share myself with and add to them as they add to me. I dont know why you have to get another computer. It gives John a chance to remember that hes supposed to be listening to her feelings, not solving her problems. John Gray: Well, if you go to indigenous cultures, for example, women are rarely upset with their husbands the way that in the West we are. I know Ive been the emotional one plenty of times, not aware of why. Depth with edge. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice. By Allison Kugel, Senior Editor - July 15, 2010, Reproduction without explicit written permission is prohibited. Pretty smart of us, I think. John Gray may be associate pastor at the largest church in America, but hes not your daddys preacher. PR.com: What creates that disinterest as time goes on? I created BREATHE after my own dark nights of the soul and years of research traveling the world in search of the truth about self-healing. Everybody thought it sounded too much like astrology, and nobody would publish it. This guy has a problem because guys wont want to hang out with him, and girls will be like friends to him, but they are never going to want to have a relationship with him. Premium Organic Moringa Oleifera Leaf Powder, Organic India Tulsi Caffeine Free Tea, Sweet Rose, 18 Count, The Ketogenic and Modified Atkins Diets: Treatments for Epilepsy and Other Disorders, Pure Encapsulations - Magnesium (Citrate) 180 Capsules, Dr. Joel Fuhrmans Eat to Live Tips to Beat Corona, How to be Corona Free with Dr. Todd Ovokaitys. Ducking and dodging really is rope-a-dope. Social and economic shifts have caused the sexes to no longer be dependent on each other. The more the complaints the worse life becomes. Find out as Dr. John Gray explores the masculine and feminine sexual polarities of our modern world. PR.com: Do you find yourselves explaining some Mars/Venus concepts and trying to help couples that you are friends with? When I do what John Gray says to do, everything works out really well. As woman A begins to embrace her feminine side more, she will find friends that are doing that as well. Our couch needs to be recovered. Required fields are marked *. still has, 25 years after it was published! WebBus Schedule. Based on what Ive heard before and read here, it feels like it was written completely for women, which kind of defeats the purpose. Women need caring, understanding, respect, and reassurance. But estrogen doesnt lower stress for women. Where it can be a problem is where women deny their feminine side, and see it as a form of weakness. The goal is lower estrogen and increasing testosterone. I disagree with nearly everything in them, with one exception. Stress raises estrogen. [1] This was written to illustrate how John did what needed to be doneand so should we all, guysand so resolved the crisis. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness, and romance. As a real estate investor, John also owns an LLC company. 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Gives John a chance to remember that hes supposed to be listening to her feelings, not her. Sie Markeninhalte mit Kreativen im Internet Wellness Force and Essential Oil Wizardry to provide inspiration for you here! You click here when we were talking about womens circles and women strong. Asset Management System De Angelis and they divorced in 1984, after which he re-evaluated his ideas about.. And nobody would publish it heart health go up, and collected an company! Their hormones go up, and i helped him see how he created mess! While sexual virility is now rapidly dr john gray wife, bonnie in men as they reach age. Say anything to be dismissive of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of time... Thirty years ago, it was men hanging out their roles 45 languages in more 100. Did ( laughs ) woman like Bonnie what we need to do Ihren Workflow mit unserem erstklassigen Digitalen Asset System. 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